June will be better

 Well, yeah, little updates since March. It was decided with the oncologist that we would get a scan and after the scan, we decided to continue with Ibrance and get additional scans in 6 weeks (beginning of May).

After the scans in the beginning of May and another biopsy on my right breast which basically is inflammatory at this point and is not responding to any treatment, Dr. V decided we would try Xeloda - Chemotherapy but in the form of a pill. May started out okay, but between the scans and the biopsy and anemia I've gotten from the treatments (and the cancer), I have just found myself exhausted and not feeling great. I also had trouble eating, which my Dr thinks is anxiety....which is new to me! 

I was starting to feel better last Sunday (5/22) when Dr. V called me - she was reviewing my scans again, really trying to determine what the next steps should be and told me that she wants to skip the Xeloda and go right to IV Chemo. Last week was a whirlwind of scheduling time off to get surgery to install a port and getting Chemo started. 

So, the reasoning: Xeloda may work but it will be slower, and there's a spot near my kidneys that the Dr is concerned about, as well as my right breast giving us issues. Dr V. believes that iv Chemo is my best bet to drive back the cancer. 

Yeah, my worst fear - because I don't want to lose my hair. How fucking vain of me. (sorry for the language, but yeah, it's necessary). Not to mention the other fun side effects like neuropathy of the hands and feet, etc. and so forth. But really, at this point, I don't have any other choice if I want to beat this back. How long will I be on IV Chemo? Don't know, depends on how I respond - if I respond and we can get to no evidence of disease, it is possible I could move down to the chemo pill. But at this point, just focusing on getting this mess under control.

I decided to take some control and cut my hair short. I hate it, but it will be better for me to get used to and when it does start falling out, it isn't in long clumps. I won't shave my head, not going to happen, but I wanted to be prepared for short hair since I was probably 10 the last time I had short hair. So Wed I got a hair cut. Thursday morning I had my first surgery ever. Went well, I slept Thursday afternoon away and on Friday morning, first chemo.

Chemo went well, no adverse effects, which is good. I get a cocktail of steroids, benedryl and pepcid, which SUCKED! Caused the worst restless leg syndrome! But after Chemo, was able to go home, rest and I felt fine. I felt fine on Saturday, did some work for a workshop I am attending. Went to bed Sat night and didn't sleep well - finally work up Sunday morning early with the worst stabbing pains going up and down my legs and abdomen - a fun side effect of the Chemo! yay! Sunday and Monday were the worst, a lot of pain pills, trying to get comfortable to sleep, it was impossible. Monday evening wasn't near as bad, and I had weaned myself off the pain pills so I could try the gabepentin for night time and got 6 (SIX!!!) hours of straight sleep before I woke up!!! (of course, I went to sleep around 8PM!!). Anyway, that was the best sleep I have had in MONTHS!

Yesterday was okay - I'm a little shaky, my legs are beat! But I was able to go back to work. I am at work again today and feeling okay. I plan to feel okay tomorrow and attend Devon Grand Prix night, a night I haven't missed in 30 some years (except for the past two when the horse show was canceled). That's my goal. 

Friday will be Chemo days. At least for now....hopefully Sunday is my bad day and I recover by Monday as that will be a work day. We will see how we can control the pain in my legs. 

I'll try to keep updating. I know I have falling off updating - It's not been a great couple of months - I am trying to be positive, but it is hard - I am hoping that this treatment helps, shows the cancer being beat back - if it does, that will be very helpful for my positivity!