Friday, November 9, 2007

Plans

My brother-in-law Todd asked me to talk about my "five-year plan" as a topic for a posting. Well, that got me to thinkin' (yes, that was the burning smell you smell!)

This was always a question I hated (no offense to Todd!). I guess I don't think much about the future as much as I tend to just live in the present. Or maybe it is because I want to leave my options open.

I like that - keeping my options open. If I said, "Five years from now I want to have joined the circus and be a clown," then to me, that means I have to start working now to become a clown in the circus (and man, I hate clowns!) I also hate to quit, so I would feel like I have to spend the next five years working to be a clown even though I really don't want to become something I really don't like.

Or, better example. I decided long ago I wanted to be a nurse. I was 8 or 9. So, when it became time to look for colleges, I was determined to go to a college where I could get a nursing degree. It took me the first semester of college to realize that I didn't want to be a nurse. My 8 year old self wanted to be a nurse, but my 18 year old undecided self was pretty sure that I didn't want to be a nurse, even though I had no idea about anything else. See, 10 years it took me to finally quit wanting to be something I didn't really want to be. And I felt bad about it for awhile - that's just me, I don't like to quit or feel like a quitter, even though it wasn't something I would be happy at. Weird, I know.

I guess that is why I tend to cringe when asked the question, "Where do you see yourself five years from now." Because I have ideas, but I don't really want to nail myself to them!

There is some stuff I'd like to have happen in the next five years. I'd like to have Leda potty trained (please, PLEASE let this happen BEFORE year five!). I'd like to enter Leda in pre-school next year. I'd like to get our basement remodeled into usable space for the family (right now, it's Brock's office and the laundry room and the place where things in our lives that we don't need at the moment go to live). I'd like to look into getting a master bedroom addition on our house. I'd like to win the lottery. I'd like to travel more. I'd like to lose a little weight and get into shape.

I am not so sure what the future holds in store for me (or us) and I'm kinda okay with that. I know where we are today and that's a pretty good place. We aren't destitute, we aren't rich, but we are comfortable and happy.

Ten years ago I would never NEVER have said in 10 years I will be married, own a house, have a dog, have a kid(!), have a good job, not be living paycheck to paycheck, have the best neighbors money can buy, have a wonderful group of friends (although, I already had them 10 years ago!) and am happy to be where I am right now. Look at how much happens when you aren't making plans! It's pretty darn cool!

I understand the need to have a plan, so that you know what you need to do in order to accomplish your goals. And if we do decide to do something around the house or put Leda in to pre-school, we will plan for that. So I am not totally without plans. I just like to make smaller plans than for the next five years of my life. Because, if the next five are anything like the last five, it could be fun just living them and finding out what happens.

Don't know if that's a good answer or not. But it's my story and I'm sticking to it!

;-)

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