Thursday, July 26, 2007

The reason I don't ride the Ferris Wheel

Because no matter what, I will ALWAYS get stuck at the top - EVERY SINGLE TIME!

I am TERRIFIED of heights. I love to look out from the observatory deck of tall buildings, but I don't look down and I don't get too close to the glass windows - that's just asking for me to pass out!

I don't do open decks (the CN Tower in Toronto - viewed the views from INSIDE the darn thing, you think you are gonna get me to go outside where death is looming??? No freakin' way!), I don't climb ladders, my knees get weak just watching other people do things like lean right up against a window 100 stories up.

Empire State building - yes, I went outside, but I didn't look down much and I didn't lean over the sides (of course, there's lots of safety measures to keep one from jumping off, which works JUST fine for me!) And, besides, my mother went out onto the observatory deck of the Empire State building and she's worse than I am about heights!

I don't do Ferris Wheels. The only few times I ever did (in my misguided youth) I ALWAYS got stuck at the top. I'm good on roller coasters - they keep moving. Oh, and there was that one time I got talked into doing Free Fall at Great Adventure - I never said I was smart in my youth (and you won't catch me doing it a second time, so I did learn something)! On a Ferris Wheel, there is an excellent chance you will be stuck at the top of the darn thing as they are loading and/or unloading which means you are sitting in a little bucket that swings back and fourth with no possibility of GETTING OFF THE DARN THING if it breaks!

And, if you are in that death bucket with ME, you are DEFINITELY at the top of the darn Ferris Wheel.

Tonight, Brock headed off to a race track for some schmoozing with some car magazine for One Lap and Dave was off doing some Jeep thing, so Annie and I took Danny and Leda off to the Kimberton fair by ourselves. Now, the last fair in Phoenixville, the Dogwood festival, Dave and Brock took the kids up in the Ferris Wheel and Leda loved it. So, the only thing I heard from the time we got there was that she and Danny wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel!

I sucked it up, I thought, what the heck, it's for the kids, right? And it has been probably about 20 years or so since I was on a Ferris Wheel and it's not like it's the REALLY tall one down the shore, right?

We got on, I was fine. They moved us forward to load the next set of cars, I wasn't as fine as I had been. Then we started moving for the ride (good, dodged the get-stuck-at-the-top-while-they-load bullet. Okay, not too bad, it's okay, the scenery is beautiful, the countryside is all laid out for us to take in. The moon is almost full and the ride is creating a breeze that is cooling in the humid air.

Then, tragedy strikes...we STOP. Not at the bottom, not on the sides, but AT THE FREAKIN' TOP OF THE RIDE! And, due to the almost sudden stop, the death bucket is ROCKING! Oh, and then Danny wants to get up and look over the sides!

"Just keep swimmin', Just keep swimmin'"

(and, yes, I did keep singing that. Until I needed to distract Danny from looking over the sides by making him sing the ABCs and Twinkle Star with me! I'm not proud!)

The ride starts to move again, but I seem to have miscalculated how many buckets would get us down from the top to a much more manageable height, because when we stop again, we are just on the OTHER SIDE OF THE VERY TOP OF THE FERRIS WHEEL!

(I think this is where the ABC's may have been sung again - I don't remember clearly, my life was too busy flashing before my eyes.)

Leda will probably never ride the Ferris Wheel again! Brock thinks that as long as we act as though something isn't scary, she will be fine with it....I think I pretty much ruined that for her on the Ferris Wheel - the kid barely moved, but how could she, I pretty much had a death grip on her the entire time! Although, she did have a big grin on her face the entire time, so maybe this was payback for something I did to her in her short life - if so, I am in BIG trouble!

We did make it off the ride in one piece (barely!) and I have vowed that THAT was my last trip on a Ferris Wheel. I promptly called Brock on the cell phone and informed him that he owes me big time for that one!

And THAT is the reason I will NEVER AGAIN ride a Ferris Wheel!

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