Do you know how often I think of cancer now? Every damn day. Almost all day long, in some cases. I try to keep thinking about other things, but it all comes back to damn cancer. So if I haven't responded lately, it's mostly because I just don't want to talk about f'ing cancer. Know I am okay...I'm dealing with treatments right now and hoping that they start working (or are working) and working with my Dr and team to stay as healthy as one can be with cancer. There is so much that is out of my hands right now. It sucks. I am attempting to stay as hopeful as I can, but there are times when I just want to not have cancer and be angry and upset about the fact that that will never happen now. So, bare with me....and if I don't answer, don't think it isn't because I don't appreciate the contact - I really do and I love my people. I just don't want to talk about cancer or how I feel right now! ;)
So what do you do when you get a diagnosis of terminal cancer? Ok, yeah, you freak out. I’m pretty sure that’s what I experienced the first week of this new life. You start thinking of all the last things you will be doing. That’s where my head went. When we met with our oncologist, who came very highly recommended and, as it turns out, was the Dr my primary Dr team WANTED for me, I had only known for exactly a week and had only had my biopsies done that morning so we still didn’t know exactly what kind of breast cancer I had. The meeting was a blur. I remember having two questions…should I change my diet and what is the prognosis? So, let me step back, Dr V (Dr Maria Vershvovsky…..yeah, no one can pronounce her name well, thus, the Dr V!) is with Penn Medicine’s Abramson Cancer Center and associates with Chester County Hospital….the best cancer center in this area of PA and one of the best hospitals….20 mins from home, so we are really lucky. My Dr was very certain that this is the D
Yes, we have recovered (mostly - I am the lucky one to have continued with a cough that won't go away, but other than that...) Work is busy and I have promised two pies (yes - don't laugh!) for Thanksgiving dinner at our neighbor's house on Thursday. And, I have a slide show I have to complete for our reunion on Saturday night (yes, 20th high school reunion - how scary is that?). So, can you understand why I am SO looking forward to four complete days at home doing no work? Besides, I get to spend it with her: I mean, wouldn't that be SO worth it? Pictures will be forth coming - I mean, really, do you think I'd go to my 20th reunion without my camera??
Comments