Voyages in Parenthood

 I'm sorry for the late and sad news but I just figured out how to access her blog account for on update. My wife, Cyndy Yates, passed peacefully early Thanksgiving morning.  She waged a valiant battle with the cancer but it was too far advanced when the diagnosis was finally made. There are no plans for a celebration of life in the near future but as the weather improves there will probably be a casual get-together here at the Farm at Worth's Tavern with appropriate amounts of Jameson's Irish Whisky. Until then, we are asking that in lieu of flowers and donations that everyone schedule their cancer screenings as Cyndy missed one mammogram due the Covid closures allowing the cancer to spread unchecked until is was finally found. She was loved by many and we miss her everyday. Brock

 Well, yeah, little updates since March. It was decided with the oncologist that we would get a scan and after the scan, we decided to continue with Ibrance and get additional scans in 6 weeks (beginning of May). After the scans in the beginning of May and another biopsy on my right breast which basically is inflammatory at this point and is not responding to any treatment, Dr. V decided we would try Xeloda - Chemotherapy but in the form of a pill. May started out okay, but between the scans and the biopsy and anemia I've gotten from the treatments (and the cancer), I have just found myself exhausted and not feeling great. I also had trouble eating, which my Dr thinks is anxiety....which is new to me!  I was starting to feel better last Sunday (5/22) when Dr. V called me - she was reviewing my scans again, really trying to determine what the next steps should be and told me that she wants to skip the Xeloda and go right to IV Chemo. Last week was a whirlwind of scheduling time...

Ugh, what a month this has been. Gave December 2021 a run for its money!  I may have mentioned before, the tumor in my right breast started to grow to the point it was uncomfortably noticeable - in early March, my oncologist ordered an ultrasound to see what was happening and it so happens, it was progression of the disease. I met with the doctor the next day and while concerned, she felt that we really hadn't had a chance to let the drugs take hold and start to do something - she felt it WAS doing something due to the drop in my WBC/neutrophil counts, so she wanted to give it 2 months to see what we see. So, felt better. Started 2nd round if Ibrance after three weeks off from first round (due to neutrophil counts!) with orders to get blood work after week 2 and after week 3.  After week 2, and getting my bloodwork back, the Dr called. She asked if I was seeing much change in my breast (I wasn't) and indicated she was worried, that the Ibrance wasn't working, the hormone th...

 Do you know how often I think of cancer now? Every damn day. Almost all day long, in some cases. I try to keep thinking about other things, but it all comes back to damn cancer. So if I haven't responded lately, it's mostly because I just don't want to talk about f'ing cancer. Know I am okay...I'm dealing with treatments right now and hoping that they start working (or are working) and working with my Dr and team to stay as healthy as one can be with cancer.  There is so much that is out of my hands right now. It sucks. I am attempting to stay as hopeful as I can, but there are times when I just want to not have cancer and be angry and upset about the fact that that will never happen now. So, bare with me....and if I don't answer, don't think it isn't because I don't appreciate the contact - I really do and I love my people. I just don't want to talk about cancer or how I feel right now! ;)

 The week of November 29th, 2021 was a pretty shitty week....being that it was the week I was diagnosed with stupid cancer! It started out okay....week after Thanksgiving, Brock was in NY for work and Leda and I were alone for the week. We've been finishing up the living room redecorate and we had decided to go to a smaller coffee table than the one we had. I found one on FB marketplace (my favorite place to shop for stuff!!) and had planned to go pick it up on Monday night. Leda and I thought we'd run up to the person's house, grab the table and go grab some dinner on the way home. About a mile from our home is a roundabout - it has 5 exit/entrances. I like roundabouts, keeps traffic moving, for the most part. We entered the roundabout around 530 pm, so rush hour traffic was moving through. I had to go to the third exit, which is pretty tight to the 2nd entrance. I was noticing a line of traffic coming to the roundabout with a truck and trailer (landscaping truck and trail...

This might sound like complaining... but I have cancer and it's my blog, so I guess that gives me permission to complain! One round of Ibrance and I am in a holding pattern...my WBC is low, so Dr V has postponed my next round until my numbers come back up. I'll either go back to same dose or she'll lower it. But, after one round, my hair is thinning. This is a side effect that I knew was possible. Is it possible I could lose my hair, maybe, but hopefully thinning is all I will experience. Now, is this the Ibrance causing the problem or is this the drugs that forced me into menopause? No clue. But it's thinning.  Now, the good thing is, I have always had very thick hair. So, a little thinning is okay. I guess. Another pro... I shaved my legs like two weeks ago and it's barely grown back! Silver linings people!  Other side effects? Mostly I'm just experiencing menopause symptoms due to forcing my body into it....night sweats and hot flashes galore. I sometimes hav...

So what do you do when you get a diagnosis of terminal cancer? Ok, yeah, you freak out. I’m pretty sure that’s what I experienced the first week of this new life. You start thinking of all the last things you will be doing. That’s where my head went. When we met with our oncologist, who came very highly recommended and, as it turns out, was the Dr my primary Dr team WANTED for me, I had only known for exactly a week and had only had my biopsies done that morning so we still didn’t know exactly what kind of breast cancer I had. The meeting was a blur. I remember having two questions…should I change my diet and what is the prognosis?  So, let me step back, Dr V (Dr Maria Vershvovsky…..yeah, no one can pronounce her name well, thus, the Dr V!) is with Penn Medicine’s Abramson Cancer Center and associates with Chester County Hospital….the best cancer center in this area of PA and one of the best hospitals….20 mins from home, so we are really lucky. My Dr was very certain that this is t...

So, just a little update on what has occurred over the past year - a longer update about what happened in the past 12 years may need to be done in small chunks as we go along! Last winter, I was swimming at the Y and taking a riding lesson about once a week. Around March, I started to have some pain in my chest that seemed to be activated by pulling myself to the edge of the pool when I was swimming and when I was lifting bales and heavy things around the farm. I went to my Dr. and we determined it was probably a pulled muscle as I had no other symptoms. We treated with muscle relaxers and I went home. Had a physical in May. The muscle pain had gotten much better. Dr. told me she felt I was doing well, gave me instructions to get regular blood panels and a mammogram and colonoscopy. I went home, put the papers on my desk and promptly forgot about them once something else was put on top of them! Toward the end of the summer, I started a new position in my company and stress levels climb...

12 years since my last post....I have to say, that's neglect!  Lots has happened. Leda made it into the teens, we bought a horse, we acquired another horse and we bought a farm. We didn't prevent therapy for Leda, but she's doing okay!  Going to use this spot to update family and friends again, this time about my diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer. There will be lots of positivity, some joking and maybe a tear or two. But as I am not interested in posting all of this on social media, gonna use this blog as a place to share (since really, no one comes here but my family and close friends! And I'm okay with that!) Blog may need a little redesign. We will see!  Stay tuned.

Brock and I got the opportunity to experience an event yesterday that I am so proud to have attended. A friend of ours, our Best Man in fact, John, was offered tickets to the West Point Graduation. President Obama was going to be giving the commencement speech. So he contacted us and our other good friends, Kate and Evan, to join he and his wife, Eileen. So we asked the Durhams if they could watch Leda until Sat night and we headed north on Friday night. Due to the large number of people who were going to be descending upon the small town of Highland Falls and the security due to the President's attendance, we needed to arrive in town early...this meant leaving the house by 5:15. AM. In the morning. So we got up REALLY early and headed on over. John's plan was to park at his place of business (John runs the West Point Tour company in the town of Highland Falls), we would have a bit of breakfast at the local greasy spoon (oh, and it was greasy, and GOOD!) and then take a nice wa...

I have been thinking of our neighbor Mrs. Jean this week, mainly because the cherry tree is blossoming and she loved the cherry tree that stands between our two homes. And the flowers are blooming and Jean had a lovely garden. Her daughter reminded me that it has been a year ago this week that she passed. I am grateful that my memories of her are associated with Spring and rebirth. She was such a lovely lady who deserves to be remembered with joy. And when the cherries are ripe, we will pick some of them (and leave some for the birds) and make something delicious to eat and invite Mr. George over to join us!

Just for Grandma...pictures of Leda in her new outfit she got for Easter...oh and some funny sunglasses she got for Halloween! She was just so darn cute in the glasses!

What a weekend. It was absolutely gorgeous. Saturday we attended our annual Easter Egg hunt and dinner at the Shier's...a large group of friends and kids and good food and just an awesome time. The kids just enjoyed the heck out of the hunt! Later in the evening, as we sat around the table chatting, Paige came in to tell me that Leda kissed Nathan! Oh really, I said. So I informed Nathan's dad Jim of this little development and proceeded to ask Leda "Where did you kiss Nathan," wondering if it was on the lips or on the cheek. Leda proceeded to walk me out to the patio and pointed to a chair on which Nathan was sitting, "Right there, Mommy." Right, the physical location of the kiss, not the body part that was kissed! Turns out she had kissed Nathan on the lips. Nathan was looking pretty proud of himself. It proceeded to happen three more times, each time either Paige or Leda let me know about it! Then Leda came up to me and told me she had a secret to tell me...

That's what I feel like I am...underwater! I was doing well until Monday afternoon and even a little on Tuesday but then the stuff hit the fan... Work is a bit busy at the moment (not totally a bad thing, just making me crazy!) so I haven't had much of a chance to take pictures or update the blog or even enjoy the sun that made a reappearance yesterday after several days missing! I'm hoping that after the weekend, things will be a little more normal, at least for a little while. I unfortunately have to work on Saturday, but hopefully can go enjoy the egg hunt on Saturday afternoon and a nice dinner with friends! I'm really looking forward to a weekend at the shore house with the Durham's next week! I don't even care that we are doing work around the house! ;-)

...don't inspire for good pictures. That and a very busy two days of work make me cranky and not interested in blogging. So, no picture taken today... Instead, have I told you how much my kid loves sushi? And not that fake sushi roll stuff her mother eats either...nope, she likes the real stuff. On our way home from Grandpa's house a few weeks back, we stopped at our local Wegman's to see what we could find for dinner. They actually have a sushi bar there...a real working sushi bar with real sushi chefs who will make it while you wait! So we stopped there and Leda pointed out what she wanted...salmon sushi - you know, with the big piece of salmon lying on the pod of rice? Yep, and a salmon roll along with it. That's what she wanted. So we got that home and she dug in...except she really didn't care to eat the rice along with the salmon, just the salmon. Yes, she is her father's daughter!

With Brock off playing with race cars this weekend, it was just me and Leda. We had a few things planned for the weekend, to keep us busy. First off was getting dinner on Friday night and since I had to work on Friday and didn't feel like figuring out what to have for dinner, we headed off for dinner at McDonald's. Yes, bad mother that I am, I fed the kid fast food! Good thing it's always treated as a special treat and doesn't happen very often! We got home and made popcorn and sat down to watch Where the Wild Things Are . We were really looking forward to seeing this movie as it is one of Leda's favorite books. It wasn't a bad movie, just depressing. Not as uplifting as I hoped. And both of us were in tears by the end. It is hard to comfort your kid when you are crying as well! [Spoiler ahead] I tried to explain to Leda, who was almost as uncontrollably upset as she was when she watched Marley with us, that it was a happy ending, that Max got to go home to his ...

These are my office mates: I love the laughing Buddha. He makes me happy. I have these two sitting on my desk, just next to my computer. I think I was hoping they would make me happy while I am trying to fix some customer issues....sometimes it works, other times, not so much! ;-) I have two other Buddhas sharing my office, big enough that they can't fit on my desk. I would love more. Like I said, they make me happy. And who doesn't wanna be happy on a Friday! Awesome!

Day three of the take-a-picture-every-day and I've already Failed! Due to work, I haven't had a chance to take a picture yet today. Oh well. Best intentions. I could take a photo of my office, but I'd rather not see that picture, I spend enough time in my office! So, instead, how about a picture of a recent visitor we had in our yard. This lady came for a visit the day before we got hit with our first 18 inches or so of snow in February. She was just sitting in the tree outside my office window so I grabbed the camera and went outside to grab a few photos. There were some nasty crows hounding her, they finally scared her off. I am pretty sure she's been hanging around our neck of the woods for a few months, maybe even a year now. We catch sight of hawks every once in awhile, but you hear them more often than see them! She was a beauty.

Today is picture day at school. Hopefully she smiles for the photographer. Because she was not smiling for me this morning. She's wearing her Easter outfit for the picture. It's the dress she picked out all on her own. I wanted her to wear something else, a little more colorful than white and pink, but the skirt I bought her to wear is too big! I couldn't win! Had to let her wear the Easter outfit. She was thrilled (even though the look on her face doesn't portray that!)

I'm having a bit of writer's block. Bear with me! I downloaded a bunch of photos from my camera and realized that I hadn't done that in over a month! Also, I didn't take any photos in January! I've been bad about taking photos in the past year. I'm not sure why. I've tried to make a resolution (not for new years, just an every day resolution) to take a picture a day (at least) in the past and wasn't really good at keeping it! I'm renewing that today. I think I am trying to get myself out of the winter funk that I tend to get into just about every winter...the weather is getting warmer, the sun is getting brighter (when it is out). I'm going to do my part to try and come out of hibernation and rejoin the world. I'll try to do that with words, but if words fail, hopefully a picture will do. And maybe that will get me updating the blog more regularly and taking more pictures! So, Picture of the Day: Leda!